Often, we as human beings love to stick to the traditional ways of doing things. This is the way we have always done it and this is the way we must continue. We weave tradition into our daily chores and they soon become habits that we fear to part with. Change comes very hard to many of us. We resist it with a tenacity that people who know us may find hard to believe. Some traditions are good: Family values for one; they can provide stability to young people trying to find a path through life. The familiar can provide refuge and solace in a hostile and insincere world.
But why do we resist positive change?
Female circumcision is one I hardly can understand. It is still practiced in many parts of the world; in Africa; and
Nigeria is not exempt. When performed under aseptic conditions, it could mean death to the young girl most often in her infancy. It is a painful process to have a part of one's body (a private, sensitive and sensual part excised). it is usually performed for the benefit of the future male partner; not because it has any health benefits for the woman. In fact, it often leads to some very unhealthy consequences especially in extremely violent cases such as infibulation. Why is this done to the female or girl-child? They say it is to limit or rule out promiscuity.
I could think of a host of other things that we must change in Nigeria - early marriage (girls), male preference, Nigeria's high maternal and child mortality due to preventable causes; amongst others.
The gendered division of labour is another one I totally disagree with. How can you say you love a woman and you know she was up even earlier than you; she labored at work for longer hours than you did and when you both return home late at night, you have a warm shower, curl up with the dailies in a nice warm couch and turn on your favorite TV program. She begins another round of work (this time unremunerated and unsung and not captured in any of the economics books in terms of GDP or any other indices).
As she enters through the door, she immediately removes her shoes, changes into home clothes and heads for the Kitchen - often referred to as the "wife's department". I have overheard many a Nigerian male commenting - "I don't intrude; that is my wife's domain" (the kitchen).
So, Mrs. Superwoman resumes her second round of duty in the heat of the kitchen while Mr 'loving husband' enjoys a refreshing ice cold soda in the air-conditioned sitting room.
Dripping with sweat, she finally emerges to set the table, "honey" or more likely, "daddy Rhoda", dinner is served. Mr. Handsome Husband peeps over the the edge of the oversized newspaper and remarks, "I hope it's not rice again. I ate jollof rice this afternoon when Richard and I went out for lunch". Somewhat apologetically, Mrs. Superwoman replies, "Ah, I did not know O. Should I make something else for you?". Mr. Handsome Husband is slow to respond because something has caught his attention on the local news. Mrs. Superwoman, lingers in the dining area,waiting to gain the attention of Mr. Husband so that she can face her other chores.
Mr. Husband finally leaves the TV alone and turns to face his wife. "if it is not too much, maybe you can make me a sandwich. That will be just fine as I am not so hungry anyway". Thank God he did not ask for pounded yam and egusi. So, Mrs drags her tired body back to the kitchen. She sighs inwardly. If she had her way, she would be curled up in bed reading the novel she borrowed from her friend last month. She has only been able to read one chapter so far. She prepares the sandwich, serves Mr. Husband who hardly notices her presence and she rushes upstairs to supervise Grace's homework.
After dinner and a late night movie, Mr Husband peeps into Grace's room to say goodnight and heads for the bathroom for a warm shower. He slips into his well laundered pyjama bottom and sprawls out on the 6 by 6 master bed, waiting for Mrs to perform the last of her wifely duties. This is love the Nigerian style.I sincerely hope that I am wrong and that the modern,young Nigerian male is different; more caring and loving and will take note of the fact that Mrs or Mommy Grace is human and has interests that are important for her wellbeing.
She does get tired sometimes.
I can see the guys arming themselves with the now familiar catch phrase, "Mrs has a maid to assist her in the chores".
I was thinking about the question of change when I read the account written by Paul in
Galatians 2 where he dwelt on the issue of whether the new gentile converts to Christianity suffered some level of stigma from the
Jewish Christians because of the fact that they were uncircumcised. Jewish males are mandatorily circumcised on the 7th day.
It is interesting that the Apostles who had been with Christ and who knew without a shadow of doubt that they were saved by grace and not works, who knew that 'the just shall live by faith' (even Peter the Rock) were still held captive by the tradition of circumcision. Speaking in the flesh, they desired the new converts to be circumcised. Yet salvation is achieved through faith and not by works.
Thank God for Paul, who received the spiritual mandate and responsibility to preach the Gospel to the gentile nations. He stood his ground vehemently; even against a spiritual elder like Peter, insisting that the yoke of adhering to the law and traditions should not be imposed on the new gentile converts.
Change is not cheap and does not come easy. We need men and women, like Paul who can stand by the truth and what is fair and just; irrespective of the opposition.
